I’m a huge fan of someecards, a site of slightly off-color, snarky, and downright hilarious online greeting cards for any occasion. (By the way — some of the cards are definitely NSFW…)

When I discovered a feature where users can create their own cards I was inspired to grab some quotes from Timely Persuasion and give it a try.

Last warning — some of these examples are also NSFW


Neck Bruise




Special thanks to Annie, a reviewer from the Providence Daily Dose who called out that final one as her favorite line in the book and inspired this little side project.

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