{"id":2016,"date":"2020-08-15T13:23:53","date_gmt":"2020-08-15T18:23:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/?p=2016"},"modified":"2022-02-13T15:17:05","modified_gmt":"2022-02-13T21:17:05","slug":"2020-hindsight-commentary-wounded-kite-at-17-18-and-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/2020-hindsight-commentary-wounded-kite-at-17-18-and-life\/","title":{"rendered":"2020 Hindsight Commentary: Wounded Kite at :17, 18 and Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m revisiting Timely Persuasion<\/a> 12 years after releasing it \/ 17 years after writing it \/ 6000+ days<\/a> since I jokingly told Jon Mack “maybe I’ll write a book” with a new round of fresh eyed commentary. Today’s look at yesterday’s chapters is brought to you by Pavement<\/a> and Skid Row<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Wounded Kite at :17<\/h2>\n

Still my favorite chapter title!<\/p>\n

A few too many “from the pains”<\/p>\n

Technically it’s not a frozen thing anymore after it comes out of the microwave.<\/p>\n

He jumps into the time travel sex ed theory a little too fast. (Everything in this chapter seems to happen a little too fast.)<\/p>\n

The Local Boy version is called “Don’t Know When” but I suppose the narrator would use the proper song title.<\/p>\n

When the dad realizes who he is it should have gone: “Dad sat on the couch. A smile seemed to come to him slowly. It was a sad smile just the same.”<\/p>\n

If past me claimed that GnR never released another good<\/em> original song post Izzy Stradlin, that would arguably still be true today.<\/p>\n

Wrong “acknowledgements” again. (And I’m not exactly sure how he was going to “discretely thank the original artists” in said misspelled acknowledgments.)<\/p>\n

Doesn’t make sense for the dad to reference the “nagging doubts come to you” Carter lyric unless he learned that song — which he shouldn’t have by the 1 per artist rule. (That said, “The Only Looney Left in Town<\/a>” would have been a great Local Boy song…)<\/p>\n

The ending bit and cliffhanger save the chapter.<\/p>\n

Despite the nitpicks of being over-explainy and rushed, story wise this is one of my favorite chapters.<\/p>\n

18 And Life<\/h2>\n

…and then I negate the impact of the cliffhanger immediately after the chapter title. The first three paragraphs of connective tissue don’t really serve a purpose. “Over the next several weeks…” would have we a better starting point.<\/p>\n

The Local Boy artifacts in the basement most logically belong to the narrator, but I don’t recall why he tries to pass them off as belonging to the mom. (His subconscious would encourage him to collect them even if he didn’t want to.)<\/p>\n

“I’ll do some damage one fine day” is an example of a shoehorned lyrical reference that tries too hard.<\/p>\n

Memory gap section would have been a perfect place for “What am I doing in this dive bar?” I’m trying to remember when past me discovered that song.<\/p>\n

I wonder if the phone number ending in 5234 (LBDG) made readers think it wasn’t real and couldn’t be dialed. (It’s still live, and directs callers to study.lb-dg.com<\/a> to download a shorter version of the questionnaire. That was a really fun side project.)<\/p>\n

“…in a latent show of our impending separation” isn’t exactly how “show, don’t tell” is supposed to work.<\/p>\n

Similar to the last chapter I still like the plot points here, but things seem to move a touch too fast.<\/p>\n

Check out the original 2008 commentary for these chapters:<\/em><\/p>\n

Wounded Kite at :17<\/a>\u00a0 | \u00a018 and Life<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m revisiting Timely Persuasion 12 years after releasing it \/ 17 years after writing it \/ 6000+ days since I jokingly told Jon Mack “maybe I’ll write a book” with a new round of fresh eyed commentary. Today’s look at yesterday’s chapters is brought to you by Pavement and Skid Row. Wounded Kite at :17…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2016","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-behind-the-scenes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3pfx3-ww","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2031,"url":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/2020-hindsight-commentary-22-days-2359-end-of-the-world-24-hour-party-people\/","url_meta":{"origin":2016,"position":0},"title":"2020 Hindsight Commentary: 22 Days, 23:59 End of the World, 24 Hour Party People","author":"LBDG","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm revisiting Timely Persuasion 12 years after releasing it \/ 17 years after writing it \/ 6000+ days since I jokingly told Jon Mack \"maybe I'll write a book\" with a new round of fresh eyed commentary. Today's look at yesterday's chapters is brought to you by 22-20s, Carter USM,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Behind the Scenes"","block_context":{"text":"Behind the Scenes","link":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/category\/behind-the-scenes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37,"url":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/commentary-17-wounded-kite-at-17\/","url_meta":{"origin":2016,"position":1},"title":"Commentary 17: Wounded Kite At :17","author":"LBDG","date":"June 12, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"We finally return to \"present\" time, allowing our hero to discover that things have changed...but not for the better. His homecoming focuses on the effects of extended time travel on the body as well as his ensuing confusion when things aren't quite right. To make matters worse, this may no\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Behind the Scenes"","block_context":{"text":"Behind the Scenes","link":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/category\/behind-the-scenes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2022,"url":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/2020-hindsight-commentary-19-2000-20ft-halo-now-we-are-twenty-one\/","url_meta":{"origin":2016,"position":2},"title":"2020 Hindsight Commentary: 19-2000, 20ft Halo, Now We Are Twenty-One","author":"LBDG","date":"September 3, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm revisiting Timely Persuasion 12 years after releasing it \/ 17 years after writing it \/ 6000+ days since I jokingly told Jon Mack \"maybe I'll write a book\" with a new round of fresh eyed commentary. Today's look at yesterday's chapters is brought to you by Gorillaz, Supergrass, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Behind the Scenes"","block_context":{"text":"Behind the Scenes","link":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/category\/behind-the-scenes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3453,"url":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/lbdg-commentary-30-a-denial-a-l3dgedly\/","url_meta":{"origin":2016,"position":3},"title":"LBDG Commentary 30: A Denial, A L3DG(edly)","author":"LBDG","date":"March 21, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"I probably don't have to tell you how much I love this chapter title. It mirrors A Wife, A Butterfly, quotes Nirvana, uses the l33t speak variant of Local 3's band name and throws in a parenthetical for good measure1. What's not to love? It also illustrates the internal fight\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Behind the Scenes"","block_context":{"text":"Behind the Scenes","link":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/category\/behind-the-scenes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/2436-8.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/2436-8.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/2436-8.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/2436-8.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":702,"url":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/acknowledged\/","url_meta":{"origin":2016,"position":4},"title":"Acknowledged","author":"LBDG","date":"August 24, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"A few months back a friend of a friend emailed me a few questions about my publishing experience. \u00c2\u00a0I gave some honest answers and wished him luck. \u00c2\u00a0He later offered me a free copy in appreciation. When the book came in the mail, I was quite surprised and flattered to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Misc Debris"","block_context":{"text":"Misc Debris","link":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/category\/misc-debris\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Quirky short stories by Scott S. Phillips","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/08\/Screenshot_10-188x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3060,"url":"https:\/\/blog.timelypersuasion.com\/blog\/lbdg-commentary-3-how-we-met\/","url_meta":{"origin":2016,"position":5},"title":"LBDG Commentary 3: How We Met","author":"LBDG","date":"June 8, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Skimming the archives, I normally start these commentary posts with some fun facts about my state of mind leading into a particular chapter. Today I'm stumped. This one just is what it is. Never let the truth get in the way of some good tidbits... 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